Archive for May, 2013

Did you Feel the Spirit Moving Sunday?

I don’t think I have ever heard that “still small voice” as clearly as I did on Sunday, May 6, 2013. I am pretty sure I have heard it before, but this time it was an experience that I know was from God. I am pretty sure that I know it was from God.

Okay, I am still not quite sure that I heard from God. When Nathan, Mike and Chris were talking about their experience in California looking for someone who’s right ear needed healing, I had the impression that the reason I was turned down for a disability tax credit this year was because God was going to heal me. I have thought before that God was going to heal me, but He has not. Was this thought really God’s voice?RainbowHands

Then during the last song, I got the idea that I should raise my left hand. The Parkinson’s affects my left side more than my right, so usually if I would raise my left hand it would be shaking and my arm would feel too heavy to raise for more than a few seconds. But I raised my left hand. It didn’t shake or feel heavy. My shoulder felt warm and loose.

I haven’t gone forward for prayer for a very long time. To be honest, it’s been a long time since I have prayed for physical healing for myself. I tell myself that I have accepted this affliction and focused on the good things that God has done for me because of Parkinson’s. My writing “career” for example. (Can you call it a career if you earn less than $1 some months?)

Maybe I’ve just been lazy. Having an affliction is a good way of getting out of work. I’ve often said that except for the constant pain and the inability to do much of anything it’s a pretty good life.

I still have people who I know are praying for me. I have received phone calls from strangers who have read about me thanks to Terrie Todd, and emails from people who have read stuff that I have written. But I feel guilty when want to lay hands on me and pray, and nothing happens. I sometimes wonder if it is my complacency that is standing in the way.

But last Sunday, I think I heard God telling me to go up for prayer. God even threw a fleece my way, He told me to go to Shanon Weselake. So when I went forward and Shanon wasn’t there, I started thinking that I just imagined the voice. Someone said that Shanon wasn’t even in church that morning, he had seen Larry come in alone. So Marsha started to pray for me, and someone touched my shoulder. It was Shanon! Maybe I wasn’t imagining the voice after all.

For the rest of the day, my shoulder stayed warm and I was walking with less pain than usual. On Monday and Tuesday, I didn’t have any morning muscle spasms or cramps, and other than getting tired in the evening (which I should interpret as a sign to get to bed), I had very good days. Until today Wednesday. I had muscle dystonia this morning, and as I write this my whole body is writhing, and screaming for me to get to bed.

I have decided that I am not going to make myself insane with asking myself if this pain is less than usual, or feeling guilty for not having enough faith to be healed. Right now I am going to take a nap.

—Karen Gross

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